Stand in the Rain
by Masayume85
Summary: My own personal take on some things that could have happened in The Southern Raiders episode. My first attempt at writing Zutara that I hope may lead to more in the future.


This is my first attempt at writing Zutara. Actually, it's my first attempt at writing fanfiction in probably a decade, so I would be delighted to hear any kind of feedback anyone has.

I would like to specially thank Incognito for being my biggest supporter in trying my hand at writing and for beta-ing this for me. I would never have had the courage to do so on my own. Thank you for pulling me over to the dark side.

I've been mulling over ideas for quite some time when I finally had this idea come to me. I know it is far from anything original or not done before, but I intend for this to be the starting point into something hopefully bigger.

Thanks for reading

Disclaimer: Like everyone else writing here, I do not own Avatar: The Last Airbender or any of its characters. If I did, things would have been a lot different. (Don't all Zutara fans say that? lol)

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><p><strong>Stand in the Rain<strong>

"_She won't turn around, the shadows are long and she fears if she cries that first tear, the tears will not stop raining down. So stand in the rain, stand your ground, stand up when it's all crashing down. You stand through the pain, you won't drown, and one day what's lost can be found. You stand in the rain."_

"Stand in the Rain" by Superchick

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Usually the rain made her feel better. Surrounded naturally by her own element was always refreshing; it was a welcome change to the cold and quiet snow of the South Pole. She relished the droplets falling all around her, taking solace in the steady sound. This time, however, the rain only seemed to be mirroring her sorrow; the raindrops soaking her clothes and hair made her feel cold and hollow despite the heat. Sliding to rest at the base of a tree, she gave into the tears and allowed them to consume her. How had it come to this? How could she give into the dark feelings within herself? Why could she not bring herself to exact the revenge she so desperately desired?

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Yon Rha: the man solely responsible for ruining her childhood, for taking her whole world and shattering it. He was aged and greasy; clearly time had not been good him. His eyes, thought, those cruel dark depths that had sneered at her so many years ago, they were still the same—only now they were hollow.

He remembered her without much prompting—clearly killing her mother had stuck with him. She wondered if it ever made him lose sleep at night. _Probably not, a monster like him could never feel guilt._

Then, it had been nothing to use the rain to her advantage. With a wave of her arms she called her element to her—to kill the man cowering before her. She was going to do it. With a yell she bent the rain to her will and allowed her anger to surge forth, freezing the water into ice daggers. There was no chance of her missing. But it was in that exact moment that Aang's words echoed in her mind:

"_Please don't choose revenge. Let your anger out and then let it go. Forgive him."_

She closed her eyes.

Without moving she called a halt to the daggers before they could tear into Yon Rha's flesh. Her shoulders dropped, and she relaxed her stance, letting the water fall on the terrified man. He was groveling, begging her to take his own mother in retribution, and she nearly choked in disgust. What kind of man would sacrifice his own mother so carelessly? _Clearly a monster._

"I always wondered what kind of person could do such a thing." She forced her voice to remain steady, so as not to betray just how lost and scared she really was inside. "But now that I see you, I think I understand."

Staring down at him the loathing she felt evident in the cobalt depths of her eyes, "There's just nothing inside you. Nothing at all. You're pathetic and sad and empty." _And I refuse to stoop to your level_.

"But as much as I hate you—" the tears threatened to spill again "—I just can't do it."

She glared down at him with his head bowed in relief. Finally, after a tense moment she turned on her heel and headed back down the muddy path to a nearby grouping of bushes and a few large trees where she and Zuko had hidden Appa. It was in that moment that she remembered he was there. She spared him a glance over her shoulder. His golden eyes were focused on her, and, in that instant, something in his gaze told her she had done the right thing.

Her self-restraint made it as far as the bushes before she collapsed, letting her emotions come crashing down on top of her. Aang would be proud of her: she had not given into her need for revenge. Forgiveness, though, was still just as impossible as it had been before Zuko planted this crazy idea in her head; however, she finally felt like she had some small sense of closure now. But even that wasn't enough to hold back the waves of emotion that she normally fought so hard to control. The anger, the sorrow, the rage, and the pain of so many years finally released themselves in one significant moment in the rain beneath some random tree in some small Fire Nation village.

That's where he found her, curled up and crying like the eight-year-old girl she had been when she had lost her mother. She had not been really focusing on anything, lost in her own grief. She decided not to dwell on why or who she was crying in front—a boy who, for all intents and purposes, was someone she still detested. But she was beyond worrying about his reactions or anyone else's—or wondering what it was about him that allowed her to feel like it was okay for her to drop the control that she always worked so hard to maintain.

It wasn't until she felt his hand on her back awkwardly attempting to rub soothing circles that she realized he had moved, coming to sit next to her on the cold, wet earth. Warmth emanated from him and she sought it out, leaning into his side as she continued to let the tears flow unchecked. She felt him tense and then relax, never ceasing his motions on her back, silently giving her this moment of grief. It didn't even cross her mind that she was crying on the shoulder of a boy who had once been her enemy. It was like Ba Sing Se all over again, but this time she could not bring herself to be angry at him anymore. All her anger had, for the most part, been released in that one suspended moment when her ice daggers hovered inches away from Yon Rha. She was so tired of being angry; it took too much out of her and it did not bring her any peace.

How much time had passed before she finally cried herself out, she did not know. The rain started to let up and Zuko had stopped rubbing her back, letting his arm drape over her shoulder and tucking her closer into his side. She sat up slightly, took a deep breath and exhaled slowly, regaining herself once more.

"Feeling better?" His voice was low and gruff as it usually was, but there was no judgment in it, merely unspoken understanding.

She nodded, rubbing her eyes.

"I couldn't do it."

"You're not that kind of person Katara," he said. "Sure, you can be a little bossy and pig-headed now and again, but you are not cruel and vengeful."

Katara should have been offended by Zuko's statement, but she wasn't. It was true, and she knew by his tone that he wasn't trying to insult her. She mulled over his words for a moment, remembering Aang's speech about forgiveness, and then the image of her Bloodbending the captain of the Southern Raiders made her cringe.

"You're wrong."

How could she have done that? She had never planned to _ever_ use Bloodbending again. It was too much power for one person to wield, but in that moment her emotions had over-ridden any moral misgivings she may have had. Feeling the blood coursing through the man's veins, reaching in and forcing him to do her bidding, pinning him down against his will, seeing the look in his eyes when she finally brought him up to face her—it was one of pure horror.

Zuko seemed to sense what was on her mind, and he spoke softly: "What did you do back there on the ship? How did you _control_ that man?"

Katara took another deep breath, trying to steady her thoughts, ashamed and sickened with herself.

"It's called Bloodbending. An old woman named Hama taught me, against my will. Before today, I had only ever used it once, and it was to stop her from forcing Aang and Sokka to kill each other. I never wanted to use it again."

"So you can bend blood?" Zuko asked.

"Blood, saliva, sweat—wherever there's water, I can control it, and living things are full of water." In spite of herself, she gave a derisive laugh as another rather ironic memory came to the forefront. "In fact I used my own sweat to break Toph and I out of prison after we were thrown in there to be used as bait thanks to your assassin."

Zuko blinked and blushed with guilt. "I'm sorry about that."

She shrugged, letting her gaze focus on a random point in front of her. "I am cruel. I'm worse than cruel: I'm a monster just like _him_. No one should be able to control another person like that."

Once again, they were struck by a deafening silence, and Katara couldn't help but wonder if Zuko's silence spoke to his agreement in her own assessment. For some reason this thought made her stomach twist. Removing his arm from around her shoulders, he shifted to kneel in front of her so that he could face her head on. Katara shivered as his warmth left her, making her realize how comforting it had been, and she shifted her focus to his face.

"You are not a monster." His voice did not hesitate, did not waver, and his amber eyes were so focused and sincere that Katara nearly forgot to breathe as her heart jumped up into her throat.

"Have you ever thought about how you could use this new bending to your advantage? Any bending is destructive in the wrong hands, but in the right hands it can change lives. Have you ever considered using Bloodbending to help heal?"

She straightened her posture and blinked at him. Where on earth was this coming from? She had threatened to end him not just a few days earlier, mocked and scoffed at him every opportunity, and here he was speaking to her like they had been friends this whole time.

"I guess I can see that…"

"You should not feel ashamed for being human, Katara. Feelings and emotions will get the best of you; it's normal to lose control once and a while. Having the sense to know when to draw the line is the greatest strength a person can have."

He spoke as if he was recalling someone else's words rather than his own, and Katara could only stare at him, unsure of how to respond or how to feel. Was she really being comforted by Zuko—_Prince _Zuko of the Fire Nation? When had the world turned upside down?

His features shifted, looking as though he was rather uncomfortable with the surprised look on her face. Clearing his throat and standing up, Zuko dusted himself off trying to act as casual as possible.

"We should get back. The others are probably worried," he said.

Nodding stiffly in response, Katara went to get up when his hand was in front of her, offering her assistance. Stunned for a moment, she looked up at him, and he was steadily avoiding her gaze. Without hesitation she placed her hand in his and he pulled her up off the ground. She gave his hand a small squeeze, which brought his focus back to her face.

"Thank you," she said softly, a genuine smile gracing her features for the first time in days.

He was staring at her, shock clearly defined in his expression, but then he softened, returning her smile with a crooked one of his own. They released each other's hands and made their way back to Appa in companionable silence.

_xxxxxxxxxx_

Sitting on the edge of the dock, Katara watched the water move with her feet as she gently circled them in a hypnotic motion that allowed her mind to wander and sort through all that had happened. Her "little field trip" with Zuko had changed her. Fiddling with the pendant of her mother's necklace, she sighed sadly.

"Katara!" Aang's overjoyed voice came rushing to shake her from her reverie as ran towards her, with Zuko lagging behind.

"Are you okay?" he asked gently, as if she'd break.

Exhaling the breath she didn't realize she had even been holding, she responded somewhat curtly, "I'm doing fine."

"Zuko told me what you did." He rubbed his head awkwardly. "Or… what you didn't do, I guess. I'm proud of you." There was relief in his voice.

_If only he really knew… _she thought with a mental snort.

"I wanted to do it. I wanted to take out all my anger on him but, I couldn't." Her tone was harsh and low. "I don't know if it's because I'm too weak to do it or if it's because I'm strong enough not to."

"You did the right thing," he quickly replied, "Forgiveness is the first step you have to take to begin healing."

Quickly, she pushed herself up to stand and face Aang, anger evident in her expression.

"But I didn't forgive him. I'll _never_ forgive him."

And then her gaze shifted to Zuko, who was keeping his distance, his expression unreadable. This made her soften as she remembered his warm presence at her side in her greatest moment of vulnerability.

"But I am ready to forgive you."

She watched his expression change to one of astonishment as she made her way to him. Stopping just a few inches from him, she stared into his golden eyes, hoping to express just how much his support meant to her. Closing the gap between them, she threw her arms around his shoulders and hugged him tightly. He stiffened for just a moment and then instantly relaxed, wrapping his own arms are her waist and hugging her to him.

All too soon she willed herself to pull away from the warmth and comfort of his embrace, giving him a soft, knowing smile, which he returned before she gave his shoulder a squeeze and walked away. She could feel his gaze on her back, following her, and she wondered about how far they had come in just a few days. He had taken her on a journey that had exposed a dark side to herself that she hadn't known existed, that she had never dared to let anyone see, and yet he had accepted her for who she was without a moment's hesitation.

She smiled to herself. Field trips with Zuko really were a life-altering experience.

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><p><strong>AN: <strong>For anyone interested, my ultimate source of inspiration for this fic was the song quoted at the top, but it was an AMV called "Through All The Pain – A Katara Tribute" by Chaobunny12 on YouTube that gave my muse the ultimate push to start writing:

http: / / y o u t u . b e / p j x b - d 1 n M V s

Just remove the spaces when copying and pasting it into your browser. Ironically it is a Kataang in nature, but that doesn't make it any less significant in my opinion. Check it out! :)


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